How to Structure Your Memoir in 3 Easy Steps Even If You Don't Know Your Idea...

November 8, 2026

If you write your memoir without a solid structure, you'll end up wandering all over the page, getting lost, feeling overwhelmed and wanting to quit.

And if you do actually finish it, your readers will switch off.

But, being honest, most of the time beginners who don't structure their memoir don't even make it that far, which means your incredible story never sees the light of day.

In this blog, I'll show you how to easily structure your memoir in 3 simple steps, so that your readers trust you to deliver a memoir they'll be thinking about for days after they've finished it.

Point 1 – What Advice Can You Give?

Being honest, unless you're famous, readers don't care about you.

They care about what your memoir can do for them.

Why do we read memoirs specifically?

These are 3 reasons why readers choose memoirs in the first place:

To see themselves in someone else's story.
To experience a life different from their own.
To learn how someone got through something hard.

Two out of those three are about how your memoir helps your reader.

That's as opposed to famous memoirs, where we just want to be nosy and learn a bit too.

Examples – famous people:

Becoming by Michelle Obama – Readers wanted a look inside the White House and her marriage, but also learned how she found her voice.
Spare by Prince Harry – People were curious about life inside the royal family, and picked up his story of grief after losing his mum.
I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy – Fans wanted the behind-the-scenes story of child stardom, and stayed for her recovery from an eating disorder and a controlling parent.

Non-famous people:

Educated by Tara Westover – Nobody knew her before the book. Readers came to learn how someone raised with no formal schooling went on to earn a PhD from Cambridge.
Wild by Cheryl Strayed – An unknown writer hiking 1,100 miles alone after her mother's death and her divorce. Readers came to see how she got through grief.
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi – A young neurosurgeon facing terminal cancer. Readers came to see how someone faces death and what makes life meaningful.
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls – A childhood of poverty with chaotic parents. Readers came to see themselves in her story, or to experience a life very different from their own.

What's the reason they are reading?

With the famous memoirs, readers were curious about the person first. With the non-famous ones, readers didn't know who the author was. They came for the story and what it could teach them.

Pretend You're a Doctor for a Minute.

You're in your office, and there are loads of patients outside waiting to see you and hear from you.

Why?

They don't want you.

They want what you can give them – advice, a prescription, etc.

That's to make them feel better.

So, you have the advice, and your patients (your audience) want to hear it.

What if you were a doctor who didn't have any advice?
Do you think they would see you again?

When it comes to your memoir, unless you're famous, you need to think about what overall advice or message you can give your readers.

How did you get over something hard?
What advice would you give?
What were the lessons you learned?

Your memoir is about you – that's what attracted readers – but they are looking at what your memoir can do for them.

How Do We Do It?

If you have no idea what to write about, think of what people always speak to you about.

What advice do they ask for?

For instance, they might always say, "You always give good advice," or "You're so calm under pressure."

If that's because you served in the armed forces, or were a nurse, maybe that could be a good start?

If people compliment you on being resilient through tough times, maybe it was because of a tough time in a job or in your childhood. So maybe, if you feel comfortable, you could write about that?

So, make a list of the general advice people come to you for, or what you could speak on.

Then try to understand where that came from.

That could be the basis of your memoir.

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Point 2 – What Seems to Be the Theme?

When your memoir keeps switching themes, readers lose track of what they're supposed to care about. Then they stop caring enough to turn the page.

So, you need to have a theme for your memoir.

What Theme?

You don't want it to be a scrapbook of memories that's jumbled and all over the place.

Think of it this way: if you were in a library, where specifically would your memoir be, so people could find you?

If you don't know, neither will they.

Imagine You've Been Invited to a 1920s-Themed Fancy Dress Party.

You've bought your outfit, done your hair and make-up, and you're good to go.

This is your era – you can't wait.

You arrive, and the host has decorated the party with some 1920s-themed stuff, but then there's some 1980s, some 1990s.

The music is from 2003.

What would you be thinking?

Confused?
Let down?
Would you stay?

You might, but you may feel disappointed.

You were expecting one thing and got another.

That's how your readers will feel.

When it comes to your memoir, you need to keep on track with your theme.

What Theme Do I Pick?

Stay on the right track.

Are there any here that resonate with you?

Identity – Coming out in your forties. Finding your voice after years of being the quiet one.
Belonging – Making friends in a country where you barely speak the language. Finding community after leaving the church you grew up in.
Family – Learning to apologise to your kids when your parents never did. Breaking a family habit of keeping abuse secret.
Grief – Facing the first Christmas after your mum dies. Learning to enjoy life again after losing your partner.
Resilience – Rebuilding your life after a house fire. Going back to school after dropping out twice.
Freedom – Leaving a marriage your family pressured you into. Walking away from the career your parents picked for you.
Forgiveness – Letting go of the anger you've carried toward an absent parent. Forgiving yourself for missing a loved one's final call.
Reinvention – Becoming a chef after twenty years in an office. Building a life of your own after your children move out.

Remember the advice you can give – people are looking for it.

Your memoir could even be about travel, adventure, the military, etc., but within each of those you could focus on resilience or forgiveness.

The main thing is that we are conscious upfront of which theme (or train track) we are on.

So far, we have: the main thing you can give advice on, and specifically which aspect it's to do with – your theme.

That means we can discount a lot.

It may feel like you are missing things out, but remember: with too much random information, it becomes overwhelming to write and then too confusing to read.

Which means they switch off.

Point 3 – Tell It in 10 Steps

If readers have to piece together what happened when, they'll give up before they get to the part you most wanted them to read.

What does this mean?

You have to know your story up front.

What goes where?

We already know that if you confuse your reader, they will put your book down and never get to the good bits.

Your reader wants to sit back and trust that you know what you're doing.

If you don't know your story, how will they?

You can't expect them to work out what goes where.

You need to know exactly what happened next – but only if it's relevant.

Remember, we have our theme, so discount anything unless it fits within that theme.

Don't Get the Tourist Lost

I want you to imagine you are walking around your hometown.

You know it like the back of your hand.

A tourist walks up to you and asks for directions to the nearest park.

You know exactly where it is.

You give them all the right directions, but in the wrong order.

What would happen to that tourist?

They are likely to get lost.

It wasn't that you didn't know – you just gave them in the wrong order.

The result?

They would give up.
And so will your reader.

What Happened and When?

When it comes to your memoir, you are the guide and your readers are the tourists.

You need to show them where to go in the correct order so they don't get lost.

What Do You Do?

You have the theme of your memoir.

Now you simply have to decide when this part of your life really started.

For instance, if your theme is resilience from your time in the armed forces, write down the date you started.

Then pick where you want to end your memoir, e.g. the day you left, or today's date.

It doesn't matter – you just need a start and finish date.

Everything before the start is part of your introduction.

Then, between the start and finish posts, you write out the 10 plot points of what happened along the way.

Try to space them apart.

Here's an Example

Theme: Learning resilience in the army

Start: 6 September 2010, my first day of basic training

Finish: 18 June 2021, the day I left the army

Introduction: Growing up, I quit whenever I wasn't good at something. Then I joined the army.

10 Plot Points

September 2010 — I failed my first fitness test and nearly quit. Another recruit offered to train with me.
February 2011 — I passed the retest and finished basic training.
August 2012 — I struggled on my first overseas tour. I asked my sergeant for help and finished the tour.
November 2013 — I was passed over for promotion. I asked what I could improve and took on more responsibility.
May 2014 — I tore a ligament in my knee during a training exercise. I wasn't sure I'd serve again.
March 2015 — After months of rehab and a setback that put me back on crutches, I returned to light duties.
September 2016 — I passed my fitness assessment and returned to full duty.
June 2018 — A recruit failed his fitness test and wanted to quit. I trained with him, just as someone had trained with me. He passed.
October 2020 — A former soldier helped me explain my leadership experience in civilian terms. I landed a job for when I left.
June 2021 — I handed in my kit, excited to start my new job. I'd joined the army ready to quit at the first setback. I left knowing I could start over.

Now that it's structured and kept to a theme, your readers will easily follow it.

You know exactly what to keep in and what to leave out.

You know exactly what to research, who to speak to, etc.

Obviously, there is a lot more to writing a memoir – this is only a small part of it.