Do you worry that your story scenes are flat and your writing could become boring?
The last thing you want are readers switching off after 5 minutes.
I will show you how to breathe life into your scenes using a very simple technique.
What Does “Show, Don’t Tell” Mean in Writing?
But first…
I want you to imagine that I’ve bought you a ticket to a famous art gallery.
You go in, but you quickly notice something strange.
You spot that every single picture is in black and white. All of them.
Next to each picture, there was a very basic description. You walk around some more and the place feels… cold, almost mechanical and clinical.
What would you think?
Alternatively, you go to a different art gallery.
As soon as you walk in, you instantly greeted warmly with colour. There’s soothing music playing gently in the background. Colour on the tiles, walls and every canvas is filled with colour depending on the scene. You see the brush strokes, you look at the texture and that alone tells a story of how much love went into each scene.
Which experience is better?
The psychological reason behind why you liked the second version is sensory words or experiences help you brain build and imagined experience.
So, then it becomes how much of an experience do you want to give your readers?
How does this apply do you story?
What do you think of this
Steven was scared to open the letter
It feels like it’s all ‘tell’. We are being told that Steven was scared.
What would you change to make more of an experience of this scene?
The difficulties some writers have is simply that we don’t know how to show, or we use the same types of words which means the writing feels the same eg: she shivered, shaking.
That’s ok, but we can do better.
So, what do we do?
We write everything out – just get it out of your head – no editing.
This is us zooming out, we are looking at our story from above.
Then, when we want to pause on important scenes – we zoom in.
This is when we start to linger, think of a magnifying glass.
Look at the scene as if you are inspecting it, what do you notice?
This is where we use our 5 senses – sight, touch, taste, smell and sound.
You want to gives clues of feelings rather than tell us. (Try describing somebody being sad without saying they look sad.)
Then finally, be specific to your character – not all characters act the same, what does your character do differently?
For instance:
OLD WAY: Steven was scared to open the letter
NEW WAY: Steven’s cold fingers trembled as he gripped the letter, it’s paper crackling in the silence. His mouth went dry.
Better?
It was definitely an improvement.
How Sensory Details Help Readers Connect with Your Story
I didn’t think about this element that much until I went to a book signing of several authors who each took it turns to read from their novels.
One author stood up, they seemed nice and started to read from their book.
I realised after about 1-2 minutes I started drifting off – not going to sleep, but my mind was wandering.
If you were to ask me now what the story was about, I’m being honest, I can’t remember although the author seemed like a lovely person, but the story just didn’t stick in my head.
Now, another author stood up to read their novel, right away I realised something was different. They hooked me in just simply usinf the 5 senses within certain scenes to ‘show’ what different characters were doing.
I was gripped throughout and it was a horror story (and that’s not normally my sort of thing but because the writing was so immersive, I loved it!)
The difference was night and day and I’m so glad we keep ‘Show Not Tell’ in our course as when you experience the difference, you realised how important it is.
It all came down to adding colour to the scenes- like adding colour to the black and white paintings in the art gallery.
I felt like the characters were 3D and human.
How to Show, Don’t Tell in 3 Simple Steps
The quick and easy way to do it:
1. Write it all out as TELL first. Get your story out. Otherwise you will start to edit and it will stifle your creativity. (This is zooming out – looking from above)
2. Zoom in – Pick the scenes you want your readers to focus on. Think of a magnifying glass. Do you want to take us deeper into that scene – in the living room, on a ship, in a car.
3. Sprinkle the 5 senses – Within the scene you want to take your reader in, immerse them with description using the 5 senses. The ‘show’ is what you want your readers to feel the most.
Eg: Show fear: “Footsteps scraped behind her. She held her breath, gripping the cold keys until their edges bit into her palm.”
Show comfort: “Rain tapped against the window as he wrapped his hands around the warm mug. The smell of cinnamon drifted from the oven.”
When to Show and When to Tell: Finding Your Story’s Pace
Think of the ‘tell’ as the transitions and scenes that just need to happen.
You don’t need your readers to focus on those scenes, but they do need to be there to get the plot going in the right direction.
Readers will love how your story has natural pacing – some scenes fast, some will linger.
Some scenes are rich and immersive (SHOW) and the rest simply take us where we need to go (TELL).
But now you know it, your readers will love you for it.
Happy writing!
Vicky
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